Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago 路 2 min. reading time 路 visibility ~100 路

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Why Exposing Your Private Life to Virtual Strangers?

Why Exposing Your Private Life to Virtual Strangers?

Being a regular user of beBee and LinkedIn, and occasionally Twitter, I oftencatchmyself thinking about how I less and less understand the whole world of social media and people doing things the purpose聽of which is聽difficult to comprehend.聽

Maybe it is because I am firmly grounded in reality and never聽think of doing聽things on social media I wouldn't do in real life.聽

Before acting comes thinking.

One of such things that puzzle me聽is when people write about and share every intimate detail of their private life.

Private lives are more than ever exposed to the public eye, gradually losing the boundaries between the public and the private. The Internet and social media have introduced a revolution with incalculable consequences for all relationships including the most intimate, transforming not only an individual but also society. Somebody said that privacy became a lost art.聽

Have you ever asked yourself what it would look like if you stand on a street corner telling passers-by every possible聽detail of your life and showing them a handful of photos of yourself, your聽family and friends, no matter how bizarre?

Is there any difference between this act and sharing online the most intimate details of your life. I've been reading such posts even on this platform which included details about the author's sex life.聽Why would anybody care about it? Some things in one's life are聽much too personal to be made public.

We share details of our lives even when we comment on blogs.聽When I share some facts about my life by commenting, the reason is to foster bonding and a sense of community. But also, I have to feel comfortable with what I have written before pushing the comment button.聽聽

I stick firmly to this rule:

Never say anything in social media that you don鈥檛 want to see on a billboard with your name, logo, face, and phone number attached, with your client/boss/mother driving by.
Scott Stratten


What information about one's personal life make sense or have a purpose to share?聽

If I ever decide to share personal stories on social media, the first question would be how will it affect people around me who are involved in these stories. How will they accept the idea of writing about their health issues or any other intimate information, including mine?

Would my writing help or inspire someone else or I write for cathartic purposes to get the problem off my chest? Why would I talk about myself and聽expose my life to virtual strangers聽to feel better and not to people closest to me in real life? Is there a reason that something private and personal becomes public?

I would also ask myself, do I share meaningful information?聽Although,聽what is meaningful for me doesn't have to be for someone else.聽

We聽are owners of our stories but not every story merit sharing.聽

It is not my intention to moralise or tell others what to do. It is a personal choice. These are just my thoughts and understanding聽the purpose of exposing private life on social media. I have a lot to figure out why people tell such stories online.

To me, there is always a line between public and private.聽I am voicing聽my private life, but not on social media.聽

What is your answer to the question written in bold?



Image Credit:聽 The land of Vore Beasts
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Lada 馃彙 Prkic

2 years ago #45

#55
Not necessarily, Praveen. Me first. Introverts are not introspective by default. I feel lost in these "altered ego" stuff. :-))

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

2 years ago #44

#52
Yes, I agree with you Praveen. I am not a person who bosses around and tells people how they should behave. :-)) Am just thinking aloud and asking myself unanswerable questions regarding human's nature. beBee, although a small community, is an excellent platform for trying to understand the psychology of social media. I am an introvert too, but of a different kind because I don't find a social network platform as a conducive medium for voicing private life issues. :)

Harvey Lloyd

2 years ago #43

#44
Sorry for a late reply as i missed the little bell ringing. Our box of rocks is filled with each of the emotional stations you mention. The real question is what rock do we pick up "automatically" and without any thought. I know that for me in sales meeting a customer that had a very discernible set of rocks in the box, made my life really easy. If the rock was pride or envy i could use this within the sale. The more challenging customers thought outside their box of rocks. I enjoyed these customers more. Each of us was challenged in reaching win-win. To the degree that the box of rocks are shown repeatedly we can also discern that the box will always be present in going forward. Do i want to continue with one that cant get out of their own box of rocks and explore change? From a leadership perspective this is a very real decision that most don't realize is forming. Bad leaders don't seem to get that good team members are also going through the same process. By using the box rocks terminology it helps in communicating in real time with folks you lead. I can ask what rock has been lifted and shown? Urging team members to grow outside the box without fear. The rocks are their own and can be thrown at anytime. Why not explore without them for a while and see what you see. If fear grabs you start throwing, but to the extent courage exists, explore.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

2 years ago #42

#48
Thanks Louise, and I apologise for the late response. I like your analogy with Leatherwood honey from Tasmania. Although we don't like every variety of honey, we can learn to appreciate it (I am talking about pure honey - not fake).

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

2 years ago #41

#48
Thanks Loise, and I apologise for the late response. I like your analogy with Leatherwood honey from Tasmania. Although we don't like every variety of honey, we can learn to appreciate it (I am talking about pure honey - not fake).

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

2 years ago #40

#48
Thanks Loise, and I apologise for the late response. I like your analogy with Leatherwood honey from Tasmania.

Louise Smith

3 years ago #39

Thanks Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic I didn't see this buzz originally. I think it is one of the best I have read. I like to read beBee Buzzes particularly by the people who have commented on this buzz (including you the writer) I think we are all considerate of each other even if we have different opinions Also I like the authenticity & honesty consistently reflected by these bees I occasionally post on other platforms but find they lack something - the honey maybe? Honey is not just sweet Some varieties are stronger tasting In Aus, we have a unique honey called Leatherwood from Tasmania - the bottom island state that often gets left off the map ! It's very strong almost bitter I don't like it I think it's an acquired taste like single malt whisky But I hope you understand why I mentioned it here. This link is included only for information not for sales http://www.pureorigins.com.au/shop/pure-origins-organic-leatherwood-honey-250g

Louise Smith

3 years ago #38

#33
This made me laugh "I can't even understand why people do some stuff in real life. "

Louise Smith

3 years ago #37

#16
Chris \ud83d\udc1dR Guest You might be surprised at the age range of people who are upset by Social Media comments &/or bullying The oldest person I counsel for this is 75yo

Louise Smith

3 years ago #36

#2
This is something I struggle with when counselling every day

Louise Smith

3 years ago #35

#2
Harvey Lloyd "we each have our box of rocks that represent who we are" in general terms what are each these rocks called ? Success? Pride? Happiness? Illness? or "Harvey" "Louise" ? Just curious as this sounds like a useful counselling metaphor

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #34

#41
I also feel the same, Franci. It seems like beBee is getting out of lethargy. :)

#39
I will be featuring our fantastic beBee women in my upcoming Hive Talks and have one partially done. I gather all my information and put it in a Word doc and then transfer it to Producer. I feel a sense of new excitement on beBee!!

Claire L Cardwell

3 years ago #32

#39
Wow thank you Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic! I do love going back and re-sharing old posts and discovering ones I have missed.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #31

#38
Thanks Claire L Cardwell for your kind words and engagement with my posts. You are a driving force of this platform, stirring honeypots of many Bees to get old posts back to the top, sharing and commenting. You're the best candidate to be featured on the next Hive Talk by Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador.

Claire L Cardwell

3 years ago #30

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic - I agree with you in terms of keeping your most private life private, to have a small circle of close friends and family that you can vent your angst to is invaluable. I don't believe in airing my dirty laundry publicly, whilst a story about how someone over came difficulties and trauma in their lives can be truly inspiring a rant or vent is not. Excellent post as always!

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #29

#34
I am glad that someone's personal story helped you, my friend. Sharing one's experience when facing hardships with an honest intention to help others and sharing some trivial intimate details of one's private life are two different things. Then again, what trivial means to me doesn't have to mean for someone else.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #28

#27
There is a lot to figure out why people doing such things on social media. I can't even understand why people do some stuff in real life. The virtual world of social media sometimes reveals a hidden part of our personality.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #27

#25
Thank you, Dilma for camaraderie. :)

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #26

#18
Sadly but true.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #25

#16
Indeed, very relevant for our youngsters. What surprises me is that adults who understand all about of the privacy-invasiveness on the internet, overshare information about their personal life.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #24

#15
Thanks, Debesh. Although I don't write about facing the hardship, I love reading such stories with an honest intention to help others.

Jerry Fletcher

3 years ago #23

Lada, I agree with you in principle and have, over the years found some of the personal revelations I've seen in social media bewildering. For some, it appears that they do not have the friends support group like you have and are desperately searching for one. For others it is narcissist behavior in social media. But for most, I believe the cause is a perceived lack of identity when they are not getting the endorphin rush of being on line.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #22

Preston, you said, "My struggle in life could be another's strength." It is what I would ask myself - the purpose of self-revelation. I agree about the inner circle of trust. :)

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #21

#21
Ken, once it was Santa Claus now is Big Brother Google. :) Please read my response #22. Thanks for commenting.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #20

#21
Yes Ken, because of Big Brother Google. Please read my response #22. Thanks for commenting. :)

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #19

#13
We are all aware that there is no privacy on the Internet, once we became the participants in the social media world. But it is about the level of privacy we maintain by dosing information of our personal life. This morning when I opened Google, I noticed that Google boot wishes me a Happy Birthday with a special doodle!! Every information we ever put online is in many databases throughout the web space.

Ken Boddie

3 years ago #18

I gave up believing in privacy, Lada, when I was first introduced to Santa Clause, because ..... 鈥淗e knows when you are sleeping, He knows when you鈥檙e awake, He know if you鈥檝e been bad or good .....鈥

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #17

#12
Kevin, thanks for reminding us of the difference between being personable and being personal. As you said, some see the internet as the personal therapy. But some topics of a personal nature don't need to be discussed on social media. Also, oversharing makes me turn off.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #16

#11
Reasonable comment, as always, Franci. It's so important to set boundaries.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

3 years ago #15

What has digital disruption and stirring social media platforms done! Our societies, now against all goodness, live with idle fancies and getting dragged in annoying lifestyles and unchecked preferences.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #14

#4
Powerful comment, Debasish! This is how I sometimes see a virtual world of social media - as a delusional and a sort of phantasy when we are actors in our chimerical stories.

Debesh Choudhury

3 years ago #13

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, this is very relevant in today's perspective of the social media. People share personal photos immediately after capturing even before looking at how the photos have come. People share personal stories. I like them if and only if those stories reflect some life skills acquired for facing the hardship, and those stories can then inspire many who are suffering.

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #12

Unfortunately some aspects of our private life are revealed through people who tag photos. Unless we are in a room with connections removed to a network, I am reluctantly in agreement with Mark Zuckerberg's claim that people should not have an expectation of privacy. It is possible to be private, but then we have to be private to people around us who are comfortable sharing online and that is much more challenging than it should be. I value my privacy and am cognizant that there are means of being anonymous online, as well as eradicate tracking - but this is a payoff versus the experience we then get of a virtual world. I would not say however that privacy is dead, but it is pretty much under the kosh and can be kiboshed through social engineering or as I have said, by the new norms of sharing that are incredibly widespread, chiefly due to social engineering of virtual norms by technology behemoths.

I see personal stories on beBee and especially on WordPress. I feel for some, it is a way to release emotions, rant and/or vent. And as you mentioned, some are attention seeking, yet some share personal experiences with the intent to help others. Sharing a few facts and some helpful tips are okay, IMO. Personally, I have my boundaries as to what I share about myself and my family.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #10

Phil, I am sure that among all these storytellers there are those who are attention-seeking. Your comment makes me laugh. You have to be careful about speaking your thoughts. :-)

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #9

#3
Thanks, Ali. That is what I often asked myself while reading some stories or updates - what is added value to it. And I do not pretend to be a Puritan. Just saying that one can write about his/her personal life while protecting intimate details of relationships or certain situations.

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #8

A superb reflection, Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic. To my mind, self-revelation can be an act of generous camaraderie or it can be an act of self-centered attention-seeking. It all depends on content and context. I personally do not have to be as careful about revealing things about myself as I have to be about soeaking my thoughts about others on social media. :-) Cheers!

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #7

#2
Harvey, you said it all with your last thought: "The public domain is a very brutal arena." I see many of my posts on beBee as some kind of personal stories because I share my thoughts and feelings and always try being honest with my words.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #6

#1
I pushed replay without finished my response. :) I am more for cathartic discharge by talking than writing. I have a narrow circle of my closest friends for voicing our personal stories and dilemmas. Thanks, Pascal, as always, for a good comment.

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

3 years ago #5

#1
I am very cautious about sharing information on my family and my private life. As I said, it's a personal choice, and it's how I behave online. :)

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #4

this is extremely relevant issue Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic. i guess, owing to self centered lifestyle people are prone to live isolately, and perhaps an apathy generates on them to stay away from people or their capacity to communicate with people alarmingly declined, triggering them to be satiated with virtual world, the world being created and imagined by them as real, a sort of hallucination they are engulfed with sadly!if they can afford to dram of crypto currency to become rich, they can surely dream of becoming happy by virtual world too! however, nice insight! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the share.

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic- this is an interesting issues. I add to your question the question of other people that I may expose. For example, sharing a photo with friendly women might hurt their feelings unless I get their permission before publishing. +The other question is why I write? If I write to share experiences or a lesson from my life to help others avoid my problems then I publish. If I share the successes of my family members it is because that I want to encourage other families to do the same. But if I share my love story then what A mi contributing to the world? What added value I shall accomplish or better the reader would accomplish. Worse, is that people who use the camera in their mobile or spy on private calls of others to publish them and ruin the lives of their victims. They may ruin their lives. The dark side is having others sabotage our lives by publishing stolen moments of our lives.

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #2

"How will they accept the idea of writing........" I believe personal stories that inspire or create humanity within them are good stories. But the intent to do so has to be there within the words. I have always believed that we each have our box of rocks that represent who we are. Whether we share the rocks with social media is a challenging choice. Given that each already has their own, why are mine special, other than they are mine. "...the purpose..." is the readers effort to detect within personal stories. Do you want me to vote for your side of the story, empathize with you or maybe offer some supportive comment. Sometimes the purpose is unclear. Your comment of help is misconstrued as condemning and judging. Free speech is great, but if you want to tell a story about a personal paradigm then you must know that every viewpoint that one could imagine will see it and a few will comment. The public domain is a very brutal arena.

Pascal Derrien

3 years ago #1

I don't mind when there is a cathartic element in a story I have done it myself sometimes in a cryptic way sometimes very openly. I think you have to be comfortable in your skin but you got to set up limits. For example my rule of thumb is that I never share speak or write about my immediate family I don't even give their first names. Its a question of balance and cope on :-)

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