When to End Replying to Someone's Comments?
An article I read the other day about when we should end a conversation prompted me to put some words on the screen about a similar subject - when to end replying to someone's comments.
Many posts have been written about commenting and responding to comments, but I always ask myself when I should end a two-person comment thread.
Many times we mistakenly think the other person wants to continue a conversation, but, actually, he/she only feels obligated to respond. Fortunately, there are times when both commenters want to continue their conversation and enjoy participating in a long thread.
But what to do when receiving a rude and offensive comment from a person with whom you interact regularly. Should you address such a comment or ignore it?
At first, I feel unpleasantly surprised. After that initial reaction, I often try to find an explanation for such behaviour. Perhaps that person had a bad day or feeling bad about something in his/her own life, and their comment has nothing to do with me. In my experience, it is always best to discuss such things in private, without needing to make it public. I learned a lesson after I once made a difficult discussion public for everyone to see. Never again!
Comments are, actually, public dialogue. Many of us still have to master the art of dialogue and when to end a conversation. My advice is to avoid getting emotional. I learned to take a pause and review my comments and responses before pressing the Reply button. Still fail sometimes. :)
What about you?
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Komentari
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #66
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #65
Thanks (that's my last word)
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #64
You'll get both, John. I'm not sure who is more desperate here, 😁
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #63
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #62
Well said, David. When you have nothing more to add to the conversation, then you should stop replying. I usually finish a dialogue by liking the last comment. :)
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #61
Thank you, Proma! I'm a group member and will comment on LI. I agree with you about hateful comments. But many times, it is about people making rude and tactless remarks that I wouldn't call hateful or malicious. We all have bad days, but you shouldn't vent your frustration through the keyboard. On many forums, there is no way to go back and clean what's been written. The words are here to stay. That's why it's important to take a pause and review comments and responses before pressing the Reply button.
Harvey Lloyd
prije 3 godine #60
Louise Smith In a study class we are talking about adjectives and how they compartmentalize our thinking. You use the word trol as an identifier. A troll is a person who attacks my thoughts. The key word is attack. If we could place a meter on each person i think we would find some who label trolls very earlier in comment and those that label very late. I have found the discussions enlightening as i review my own measuring system with adjectives i have assigned people. Food for thought. I always enjoy your thoughts they do press me at times but without pressing there is no growth.
Proma Nautiyal
prije 3 godine #59
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #58
🙂
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #57
Louise Smith Louise, I opened the links to your posts and remembered all the dear Bees who are no longer on beBee. Ali Anani and many others are very active on LinkedIn and visit this platform very rarely or not at all. I like your posts, and I'll repeat the words from the post about GRUMBLEPOT, you are good at cracking jokes and trading banter to build connections with other people. I agree with you: humour is a serious business, and few are good at it.
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #56
It must have been a joke about him being your husband ! Yes Licitar Hearts is unforgettable
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #55
A favourite of mine too, Lada. 🤗
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #54
Glad to see you again here, Louise. :) My husband is not in the pic of my post IRONING IS A MAN'S JOB, TOO! It is 𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 𝗔𝘂𝗺𝗼𝗰𝗸, an author of the mentioned article: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-i-iron-my-own-shirts-michael-aumock I'm glad you remember my post about Licitar Hearts. It's one of my favourites too. :)
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #53
thanks for the thumbs up on my posts, Louise Smith
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #52
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #51
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #50
I find young things argue or "misunderstand" for the sake of it or sometimes think they can debate when they don't understand the first premise so self entitled they can't walk in another's shoes
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #49
I don't look on beeBee as much as I used to Ken Boddie but I think we resonate well Common Aussie humour maybe I always love your posts
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #48
Like @Harvey Lloyd I never seem to have a problem communicating with you Pascal Derrien I don't have to 2nd guess it's just a natural progression I would never have guessed that you feel you are better at writing than responding
Louise Smith
prije 3 godine #47
I never seem to have a problem communicating with you Harvey Lloyd I don't have to 2nd guess it's just a natural progression But I do have trouble with trolls
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #46
I'm not much on other social media platforms. I visit LinkedIn occasionally. Facebook is a toxic place, but professional Facebook groups are a different story. I was a member of some of them, and I had only positive experiences.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #45
It would be a great research topic, a propensity for elevated pandemic related rudeness on SM. Maybe there's already such a study. :) I agree with the words of John Rylance. beBee is not an exception but to a much lesser extent. I would venture to say that here on this platform is more about people with short fuses.
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #44
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #43
#43 I'm not so sure, Lada and Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, that I have found SM rudeness to be particularly more prevalent, certainly here on beBee, during these COVID times and the implicit possible excuse of 'lock-down-SM-mania'. Without naming names, there have been some historic and infamous prolonged beBee 'dummy spits' particularly back in the earlier days, well before the Carona Crisis. My own beBee experience (and that is only my opinion, of course) suggests that things have settled down a bit here. By comparison, however, I belong to various groups on Facebook and that's where I find that the sparks tend to fly. While I find the comments on artistic or professional Facebook groups generally well behaved, being complimentary of each other's descriptions and photos (and in particular some amazingly unique and special ones), by comparison, some of the local Queensland and Aussie news chat rooms are occasionally and unusually scathing of some participants' queries for assistance and local information. Again, however, I'm not so sure that this propensity for rudeness (sometimes tending towards slander) has particularly increased during COVID times, but is perhaps more reflective of the ongoing variety of personalities and their varying communication skills on some Facebook groups. Here in Queensland, however, we've been relatively pandemic fortunate, with only a few lock-downs of short duration, and so perhaps 'lock-down-SM-mania' has been less prevalent than elsewhere and indeed, more general pandemic related rudeness may be much rarer than elsewhere? I wonder if anyone has found a propensity for elevated pandemic related rudeness on other SM platforms such as Twitter or Instagram?
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #42
Great comment, Franci! I noticed a significant increase in rudeness, incivility and toxicity, in general, on social media in these Covid times. On this platform too, and from people with whom I interacted often! It is not just about Covid topics but also many others. Some people simply don't accept opinions different from theirs but consider it as a personal attack. This time of crisis in which we live greatly affects the level of tolerance.
Fay Vietmeier
prije 3 godine #41
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic Warm welcome Lada .. it may be both .. my brothers are doing some research on "roots" I will share my dad LOVED Nikola Tesla .. who said: "I am equally proud of my Serbian origin and my Croatian fatherland" IMHO: Tesla was a brilliant man .. in many ways robbed of his inventions .. but no one could steal his genius.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #40
Thank you, Fay, for sharing as a gesture of appreciation and kindness (Ken's words). I thought you are of Slovenian origin. I am glad there is a Croatian lineage in your family. :) -Drago mi je upoznati osobu hrvatskih korijena na beBee. Ima nas tako malo. :)
Fay Vietmeier
prije 3 godine #39
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic "It would be good to know how many of the 'viewers' actually read the post. 🤔 .. That stat dear bee-friend is known only by God ;~) I LOVE your "saying" .. it is truth .. perhaps it resonated .. because in my family history there is Croatian lineage ;~) I and have placed it in my "pearl-holder" for future reference "Zrno po zrno pogača, kamen po kamen palača." The literal translation: grain by grain - bread, stone by stone - palace. "Hvala vam puno" I share your wisdom .. hoping more read & add to the conversation
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #38
You're right, Ken, it is still a young post. Nevertheless, I'm glad it attracted much engagement and ongoing (not forced) conversation. :)
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #37
Ken, we have a saying in Croatian, which is equivalent to the English phrase "Many a mickle makes a muckle." It is, "Zrno po zrno pogača, kamen po kamen palača." The literal translation: grain by grain - bread, stone by stone - palace.
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #36
Yes, Lada, but this is still a young post with only 300 views at the moment. I predict (based on usual beBee growth behaviour) that the number of views will greatly increase in the next few days, while the number of commenters will only slightly increase, if at all, thus bringing ratios back closer to your average. But, there again, this post could be “the exception that proves the rule.” 🤗
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #35
You’re a bit off target with your borrowed Scots saying, John Rylance. In the NE of Scotland, where I was dragged up, the saying, in Broad Scots or Doric dialect, is actually “mony a mickle maks a muckle.” In effect this means if you have enough small things (mickle), you’ll eventually have a large thing (muckle). Not dissimilar to “Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.” Do you have any similar Croatian sayings, Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic?
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #34
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #33
many a mickle makes a muckle is an old Scottish phrase. Mickle and muckle are synonyms meaning a large quantity.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #32
Thanks, Jerry. It's never too late to join the party. :)
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #31
Thank you, Fay. I couldn't agree more about wisdom. It is required more than anything else with text-based only interaction on social media. Have a great weekend.
Jerry Fletcher
prije 3 godine #30
Fay Vietmeier
prije 3 godine #29
Fay Vietmeier
prije 3 godine #28
Fay Vietmeier
prije 3 godine #27
John Rylance I might borrow your "muckle" John .. so much more expressive than a mere "thanks" ;~)
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #26
Thanks many a mickle makes a muckle as they say.
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #25
For succinctness read thriftiness, John Rylance and remember that I was born in Scotland. 😂
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #24
I must admit it was LinkedIn I was thinking of when I wrote the comment. Thank You is a phrase that is either over or under used in conversations. Used sparingly it is a powerful reinforcer and encourager.
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #23
To me all Verbosers believe their words have beauty, whereas the true beauty is in the eye of the verbosees. Just the beauty in my mind/eye is in the succinctness of many of your quotes.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #22
Great remark about commenting, John. You reminded me of some posts on LinkedIn, where almost all the comments were by the author who thanked everyone who liked the post! The whole comment thread consisted of comments such as, "Thank you (XY) for liking my post."
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #21
The ratio to the number of commenters, instead of comments, would be at least half as small because at least half of those comments are mine.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #20
😂🤣
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #19
I guess, Lada, that “Beauty is in the eye of the verboser”??? 😂🤣😂
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #18
Wow, Lada!!! Your stats are really impressive. I guess you’ll agree it was well worth taking the time to analyse your data. The 1% approx of comments to views, however, proves, as most of us suspect, that vast majority of readers ‘walk on by’ and do not wish to engage. If we were to amend this ratio to number of commenters (instead of comments) vs views, then the percentage would be even lower. 🤔
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #17
Is There Beauty In Verbosity? :)
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #16
You intrigued me with the stats issue. Since I wrote only 33 posts in less than 5 years, I was able to calculate some stats for my posts. Here are some stats which includes a doubtful metric such as views: ► 33 posts ► 155,000 views in total ► 4,700 - the average number of views per post ► 26,400 - the highest number of views (!) ► 55 - the average number of comments per post ► 137 - the highest number of comments ► 1.2% - the average ratio of comments to views ► 4.0% - the highest ratio of comments to views Most of my posts, if not all, were shared by Javier. The highest number of views is on "Is There Beauty on Verbosity?" Who knows why views skyrocketed.
John Rylance
prije 3 godine #15
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #14
Reading your post again, Lada, and some of the comments, it occurs to me that the act of sharing someone else’s post is often underrated as a gesture of appreciation and kindness. Sharing the author’s post exposes it to more bees and hives, and hence potentially to more comments. In reality, however, there are probably only a few ‘hard core’ diehards who actually comment, rather than just read and perhaps tick ‘relevant’. For example, I notice that when Javier \ud83d\udc1d CR shares one of my posts, the ‘views’ greatly increase and I get a few more ‘relevants’ from mostly Spanish bees who I don’t know, but I doubt if the comments these days are affected by these Javier shares. Nevertheless I am always grateful for the increased exposure. 🤗 It would be interesting to see the stats on number of comments vs number of views across the board, and for various subjects or even individual bees. 🤔
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #13
Interesting take, Lada, but I must admit that I rarely read the comments of others before initially commenting on a post myself. That way my initial comment is mine and not affected by the opinions of others. There are exceptions to my self imposed rule, however.
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #12
Interesting take, Lada, but I must admit that I rarely read the comments of others before commenting on a post myself. That way my comment is mine and not affected by the opinions of others. There are exceptions to my self imposed rule, however.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #11
Thank you, as always, for commenting and sharing, Ken. :) We often mention the old days on beBee, but it was only about four years ago when Elvis was still in the building. :) Not so long ago. You're one of those who mastered the art of dialogue and prolonged conversation and whose witty comments always cheer me up. I tried a lot of times to prolong a conversation with some commenters who don't visit beBee regularly but sometimes commented on my posts. But most of them didn't respond. I didn't even know if they had read my response. They commented just once and then disappeared. You're right, many times the commenter is the one who ends a conversation.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #10
Harvey, I agree that comments can get awkwardly long and repetitive in theme. Many who participate in a comment thread don't take the time to read what others have commented, so they repeat themselves. It was understandable in long threads we used to see on beBee a few years ago. Some posts had more than 300 comments! But we can see that in threads with only several comments. Comments repetitive in theme generate repetitive responses that aren't dialogues. But it takes two to tango, so for dialogue to work, you need an engaging and thoughtful commenter - such as you, Harvey. :) Just as an author needs to know when to end replying to comments, he/she also needs to know how to achieve a continuing dialogue with engaged commenters. I must confess I'm still not one of them.
Ken Boddie
prije 3 godine #9
Greg Rolfe
prije 3 godine #8
A great tool that produces good results when used consistently. Never thought of using it in regards to comments. Interesting.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #7
Thank you, Paul. I'm blushing. 😊 At first, it was written as a short buzz, but when I've hit 200 words, I published it on Producer. At least, it can be distributed through the hives.
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #6
Humour is the best remedy for many things in life. :) As for commenting, I very rarely participate in a long comment thread with one person. The reason is that most of my fellow Bees live in a different time zone, and maintaining a continuing dialogue that way, no matter how much I enjoy the conversation, is very hard. Thank you for commenting and sharing. :)
Paul Walters
prije 3 godine #5
Pascal Derrien
prije 3 godine #4
Harvey Lloyd
prije 3 godine #3
Lada 🏡 Prkic
prije 3 godine #2
Thanks, Mohammed. You definitely mastered the art of saying more in fewer words. :)
Mohammed Abdul Jawad
prije 3 godine #1