Lada 🏡 Prkic

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beBee, a Hive for Praise

beBee, a Hive for Praise


Reading some comment sections lately, I came to the conclusion that beBee is one big hive for praise.

Comment threads are full of compliments. Faithful followers are grateful to writers for yet another great buzz, praising them even if a blog post is just mediocre. Above all, those engaged in the discussion praise each other turning the whole thread into a cascade of mutual compliments.

Even I who like to be praised and to praise others don't feel comfortable reading all that (empty) praise. beBee is a supportive community, and we encourage each other in our blogging endeavours, but there is no need for unnecessary and excessive praise which in some cases border with worshipping. 

The authors are faced with the challenging task to create quality content all the time. It is therefore understandable that not all the posts are stimulating and insightful. Not every idea is worth considering. Some posts are based on debatable assumptions. I wonder why commenters, with a few honourable exceptions, are reluctant to give honest feedback instead of participating in the never-ending stream of accolades and mutual patting.

The reason is that we on beBee, more than other social platforms are addicted to praise. Maybe because of its family-like atmosphere, as some users stated. Your family has probably told you many times that you are great, regardless of all context, because they love you. Almost every parent does it for their children because genuinely thinks they are great if not the greatest. However, parents should be aware of the fact that overwhelmingly praising children can turn them into egocentric persons when they grow up. It is the same with adults.

Most of us would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism, as Norman Peale stated. No one wants to be critiqued, and too many people are not comfortable giving criticism.

Most would rather praise than being involved in the discourse after expressing a different opinion or honest critique and thus risk ruining relationships. On the other hand, instead of possibly helpful and constructive feedback too many people seek out praise, not realising that the criticism given in good faith really matters - especially from those who rarely criticise.

The praise is food for our ego. But we can't expect to be praised all the time, and we should not always praise others. It is okay to tell people they are great, brave, awesome, inspirational, exceptional, amazing, brainy and much more but not all the time and not in every comment or as a response to praising and flattering from others. I have read some outbursts of admiration and praise that can easily fit into Ripley's Believe It or Not!
 

To paraphrase Anne Bradstreet, an American poet:

The praise is like honey, a little may refresh, but too much gluts the stomach.

Maybe it is time for all of us to start a less honey diet. However, I am sure that not everyone will accept such a low-calorie diet regime. 

 


 

Title Image:  A stunning photo of a woman covered in honey by Blake Little from his series “Preservation.”

 



 


 

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Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

5 months ago #130

Javier 🐝 CR

Javier 🐝 CR

5 months ago #129

As I mentioned in a post, the main advance is that this new platform allows us to make daily improvements, in the old one it was unthinkable, it was like moving a dinosaur, so we are very happy, and we continue working to improve the service every day and that we can enjoy it much more :-)

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador
Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

5 months ago #127

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

This post is as applicable today as it was 2 years ago. 

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #125

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic As I was swimming last evening a couple thoughts did occur to me ... one has to do with rhyming words ;~) ... the other was that I see the world in my own "weird" way ;~) which may at times is reflected in how I write/express myself

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #124

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic I'm laughing as I type ;~) I'd like to give the same reason as Poirot "to keep a distance from genius." But that one is already taken ;~) In truth I never had anyone bring this to my attention ... which reflects how perceptive you are Lada ;~) I shall ponder the mystery ... and if revealed, notify thee ;~)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #123

#134
For referring to yourself in the third person instead of first person.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #122

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic Your response made this Croatian bee SMILE ;~) ... It brought to mind Inspector Armand Gamache in the Louse Penny mysteries (13 books by this Canadian Author) I read them all last year while recovering from a broken ankle & a surgery for skin cancer ... Armand is also a genius but more: a man of great character & true leadership (he often quotes Marcus Aurelius & on occasion the Bible-not that mere quotes make him a "G" ... he is a unique & very memorable character / along with many others in the books ... the reading left me wanting to meet such a man;~) I do like the famous answer of Poirot ;~) Please forgive me ... this bee may be a bit slow ... "I would like to know what is your reason?" For??? My reason for coloring outside the lines ... for flying away from your topic?

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #121

#132
Fay, I apologise for asking, but your comments remind me of Hercule Poirot who often refers to himself in the third person. :) But he is a fictional character created by Agatha Cristie who keeps referring to himself as a way of depicting his self-grandeur. His famous answer is: "It helps Poirot to keep a distance from his genius." I would like to know what is your reason.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #120

#131
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic "Hollow praise & Helpful criticism" ... that would make an interesting post ;~) Sorry ... this bee has a habit of flying away from the topic Thank you for your clarity Lada '~) ... and for bantering ;~)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #119

#128
Fay, I have nothing more to say than what I said in my post or comments and don't want to repeat myself. I agree with what you said in your comment, but that's not what I wrote about. "It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression. [... ] All of us, at some time or other, need help." In many cases, 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞 wouldn't help half as much as constructive, helpful criticism. Sadly, rare are the people who take constructive criticism well and don't consider it to be an insult or personal attack.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #118

#127
Thanks for considering that my post is worthy of praise. 🤗

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #117

#127
Ken, I think the post continues to attract attention because of the topic that is still relevant to the blogging community on this platform. The situation has not changed much since the time I wrote the post, beBee is still addicted to praise. :-)

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #116

#126
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic Thank you for your thoughtful response Lada. In my comments I was just trying to expand on your good & truthful observations. It is rightly ordered to encourage with our words ;~) & it is "hard to be honest" (discernment is required) ... it HOW we speak truth that matters ... Each post is presenting a unique human-opinion ... some very artfully ... others not so much All comments are, in like: human-opinion & unique ... some made very artfully ... others not so much This bee has been blessed by some of the rich posts & comments: a well-spring of IDEAS in some of the conversations From a human perspective Ken Boddie is spot on "praise well delivered ... provides encouragement" This bee is always encouraged by thoughtful "bee-banter" ... and earnest, honest feedback is as "honey" In our heart & spirit we must discern the truth of words “Only you are you … As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has - or ever will have - something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression." In that process of discovery: "All of us, at some time or other, need help.” ~ Mr. Rogers (quoted here) https://www.bebee.com/producer/@fay-vietmeier-pennsylvania/becoming-your-best-you-and-how-the-light-helps-you-grow

Ken Boddie

Ken Boddie

1 year ago #115

I see that this applaudable parody on praise is successfully doing the rounds again, Lada. Judging by its lifespan and the number of comments to date, you appear to have hit on a topic of more than passing interest to many bees, if not indeed a dart at the heart of blogging. After all, praise delivered well and earnestly provides us all with the encouragement to keep blogging, irrespective of whether we may say we need it or not. Flattery, however, is quite different and, without cause, can be deceptive. I find that hollow flattery, such as is occasionally delivered in the guise of adulation on this platform, is as unsavoury as flatulence. Please be assured, Lada, that my frequent praise of your posts is genuine and neither hollow nor, hopefully, of malodorous intent. 🤗

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #114

#123
#122 With all due respect, dear Fay, I am not quite sure you understood my respond to Ali's comment or the message of the post. I always give praise when praise is due, but also sometimes when it's not - to encourage. As you said in your post about words, "words can be truth or words can be lies." To be honest in commenting is not easy. There is an art in expressing disagreement as well as in excessive, over the top and false praise and flattery.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #113

#121
Thank you! Always appreciate your non-adulatory comments. :-)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #112

#120
Thank you, dear Ali. I knew you would understand what I was trying to say.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #111

#121
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic This added thought Lada~ Every bee should value: a sound & logical comment (the thought occurs to me that such comments flow out of a sound & logical mind ;~) … Give honor where honor is due … Give corrective feedback where redirection is required (this does not have to be “criticism” … so much is in the art of our words: what we say … how we say it ;~) … Give “praise where praise is due Again: "praise" should NOT be confused with “flattery” Something that merits “praise” is “praiseworthy” … such thoughts should fill our heads ;~) ”Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” ~ Philippians 4 2) Thank you for the greatly appropriate quote by Norman Vincent Peale And The truly stunning picture … perfect ;~)

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #110

#117
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic I could not agree more Lada: “commenting should be like a conversation” I appreciate your honest observation … and, at times, could agree ;~) However, there are rich contributions of thought – these are the “pearls” I seek ;~) I ignore the “fluff” My mantra is “seek Truth & speak Truth I highly value Truth … I choose to name my business “Aletheia” (Greek for “Truth”) I think @Ali Anani gets "praise" (which should NOT be confused with flattery) because of his authentic & thoughtful form of "bee-banter" (my term) … this bee has stated to Ali on many occasions: these qualities make you are a great “Ambassador” On MANY occasions I am NOT been in agreement with thoughts set forth or statements made (by Ali or others) … marshmallow that I am, I find gentle ways to not agree ;~) You will notice I did not say “sweet” Not all bees are “gentle” or "sweet" when there is lack of back-patting ... this bee has experienced “bee-snubbing” … PRIDE is a bitter pill ;~) : The ability to disagree ... without being disagreeable reflects understanding or a desire for understanding (if more people in positions of leadership had this ability the world would have less divisiveness & vitriol) “For human speaking is an art … Words do reveal what is in the heart” As I poetically set forth here: “What do your words say about you?” https://www.bebee.com/producer/@fay-vietmeier-pennsylvania/what-do-your-words-say-about-you My hope is always that what I thoughtfully write … people will thoughtfully read & comment ;~) But then we all have experienced that some people are more “thoughtful” than others and this is life ;~)

Paul Walters

Paul Walters

1 year ago #109

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic I won't say bravo...OK, I will !! Could say that the piece was crap but....it wasn't! Difficult to criticize when you are such a fine writer that has something to say! So don't take this as 'sucking up' cause it isn't. Write some rubbish and watch me lay into you. There, I said it!!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#119
Thank you Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic- your comment contradicts mine and this is a good example of you being honest in commenting.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #107

#117
Ali, I apologise for the very late reply to your comment. While scrolling down some of my old comment streams, I've noticed that I didn't reply to some commenters. You mentioned balanced comments/commenters, but what I see a lot are comments with excessive praise and flattery. Forgive me for saying so, but I see it in your comment streams too. People differ in many ways. One of them is how they express their agreement or disagreement with some views and thoughts of the author. Reading most of the comment streams, I can say that beBee is a hive for praise, indeed. Where else can we find authors/commenters who faint from happiness if someone commented on their post or praised their comment? :-) Or commenters who express their admiration and praise in such excessive way that seems so false. To me, commenting should be like a conversation, and I simply can't imagine people talk to each other like some commenters do. To paraphrase your words, my level of confidence in such comments is very low. :(

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

1 year ago #106

testing

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I don't want to praise you again Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, but I say this buzz is a good read. When we overdo praise we may lead to undesirable results. This is one reason that I enjoy balanced commenters who praise and criticize the same author. You practice this yourself as you have praised me and also opposed some of my thoughts. This may my level of confidence in your comments is high.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

2 years ago #104

I was inspired to share this post again. :)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

2 years ago #103

#114
Thank you, Roberto.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

2 years ago #102

#112
Paul Walters Paul, I couldn't agree more with you. We need more positivity in today's insane world that makes me worried about the future of our kids. You experienced the complete opposite of excessive praising. There are no words to describe a person who wishes another human being death by cancer. I've also read comments similar to that in posts dealing with politics and religion. These topics bring out the worst in people, and writing and speaking about Trump is an example for that. Compared to such experience, excessive praise seems like putting a salve on the wound. Thank you for the compliments. They are always welcome in small doses. Too many compliments and praises can make a person full of self with an inflated view of their importance.

Paul Walters

Paul Walters

2 years ago #101

Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic Well !!!! Somehow I missed this one and, while my back was turned a Prkic piece rustles up a storm. Firstly, I love the pic in supporting the piece, says it all really. Ah, beBEE !!! I do so love it here, feels like I have made about a thousand new friends. Re the 'gushing ' comments. Oh, I think we all get them, and really, 'who doesn't love a bit of praise? However, my take on the situation is that if I write a piece ( and let's be real here, my writing tends towards the flippant, and hopefully amusing.)I wish only to provide a little amusement or, dare I say it slightly educational when it comes to my travels to out of the way places. I deviated a few weeks ago and wrote a piece entitled, " I think its time we spoke about Donald" After that piece I received hate mail via email re my observations which I have to say was a little distressing. However, I take the view that everyone is entitled to their opinions even though one comment wished that I would get cancer and die! So, sweet comments are yes, a mutual appreciation act even if some are only vaguely heartfelt but at least they are positive and God only knows in this day and age we need so much more of that. Lada, I love your well crafted, intelligent articles which more often than not teaches me things I didn't know and I am grateful for that. I tend to avoid rants, or "how to" type of posts so perhaps my silence is criticism enough. So thank you for this candid piece which was well thought out and as usual full of wisdom! Gosh there you go, another compliment!

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

2 years ago #100

#110
Jim, thank you for your comment. I agree that Bees are among the kindest people on social media. It's not about being polite and using expressions to show politeness in commenting. I also express appreciation to my beBee friends for sharing their knowledge and insights. It is about an exaggeration in mutual praise of the "depth" of thoughts in posts or comments, often for no reason. For example, do I appreciate your comment ... yes, I do, because you rarely comment on my posts. It is a solid comment, and I agree with your reason for blogging. Do I feel elated, or ecstatic by the depth of your thoughts in this comment... no. :) But your views on many things expressed in your posts, except politics 😄, I find very thought-provoking, down to earth and wise, and often inspiring. I hope I made my point clear. :)

Jim Murray

Jim Murray

2 years ago #99

That's an interesting point of view, Lada. Because while it's not one that I personally share, it's something I can understand. When people ask me why I do as much blogging as I do personally and participate in an ongoing series with Phil Friedman, it's really not about seeking praise, it's about exploring ideas and issues and gathering different points of view to broaden my own. It's also about sharing knowledge and insight into the things I know well. If it was about seeking praise, I probably wouldn't do it. Admittedly the bees are among the kindest folks on social media. And that's a good thing. But praise, as lovely as it is, does not add much to understanding.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

2 years ago #98

#108
LOL. Relevant indeed, Praveen, according to some comments I've read lately. The level of sweetness is raising again. :))

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #97

#106
Thank you, Cyndy. Finding balance is hard to achieve both in life and work. When it comes to praising and criticism, I found an interesting fact. There is an ideal praise-to-criticism ratio derived from the research about the effectiveness of leadership teams. Top performing teams give each other nearly six positive comments for every negative one. So the ratio is 6 to 1. Maybe this ratio could be applied to the social media conversation also; about 15% of constructive comments to balance too much "sweetness." :-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#103
I fully concur with your comment Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #95

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, published another buzz on criticism https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/not-bitter-but-better I think both buzzes complement each other as praise and criticism. :-)

mohammed khalaf

mohammed khalaf

3 years ago #94

Yes my dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic too much praise can be vanity . but we can from this how to moderate our praise with some purposeful criticism to nourish characters's growth without destroying their roots.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #93

#100
Nick, I'm not quite sure what you said. Did you mean of Le Roi Soleil's vanity, whom preachers used to praise to his face from the pulpit?

Nick Mlatchkov

Nick Mlatchkov

3 years ago #92

During the Obama years praising of Black people was so prevailing it turned into the norm as if it had been during Louis XIV's (Roi Soleil) rule ... It's so common even on beBee, though some bloggers here might not be willing to admit it ...

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #91

#27
Jerry, you're not late, the party is still going on. :-) I am also in agreement with you about empathy.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #90

#88
Tausif, you said that your buzz had not garnered much attention and very few of your friends have commented on it. It happened to me also. I think that almost every writer on beBee experienced the same situation when their posts weren't appealing to readers. But I would never "blame" my beBee friends for not engaging with my post. To me, it speaks more about the buzz than about the readers. To quote your words from the mentioned buzz, "Are we striving to achieve results only in the pursuit of getting praised?" If you are pleased with your post why then seeking praise from others. The praise forced by tagging is nothing more than empty flattering. I'm glad you couldn't resist commenting, my friend. :-)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #89

#95
Agreed on all points, especially about the way I manifested my criticism. Maybe I should have done it outside the open forum. Thanks for the thumbs up, Ken. It's nothing wrong with praising when isn't "over the top." Just the opposite. Thanks for the wise words.

Ken Boddie

Ken Boddie

3 years ago #88

As you know, Lada, from our previous interactions, I am also a ‘wee bit’ annoyed by seemingly hollow praise, particularly when it is presented in a repetitive and/or virtual template format, or is minimalist, such as “great post”, or worse still, a single word response. Yet, such minimalist or template comments are undoubtedly well intended and are therefore hard to disparage. What really does annoy me, however, is sickly sweet, ‘over the top’ and hence hollow and meaningless comments when a post, at least to my mind, appears poor in either (or a combination of) its story line, construction, and grammar, being in effect tedious and hard to read. And here, of course, lies the trap of subjectivity on behalf of the reader. Personally, I prefer to ignore such posts and avoid reading the works of such authors, as reading for me should, first and foremost, be enjoyable. Rather than criticise in open forum, and risk deteriorating into an open on-line slanging match (of which we’ve all seen too much in the past), I suggest that we send a message ‘one on one’ if we feel really moved to proffer constructive criticism or advice, and ‘nut out’ any subsequent disagreement, heated or otherwise, behind metaphorical closed doors. Incidentally, at the risk of being hoisted by my own petard, “great post!” 👍

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #87

#92
I admit quilt. :-)

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #86

#63
Harvey Lloyd) :) It is always very nice to exchange a few thoughts with you. Sometimes, a writer is writing not only for their own benefit. Best regards, Milos

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #85

I want to point out that Debasish Majumder is one of the most active person in social media regarding promotion and helping others. Kudos for that, irrespective of some repetition within his short forms of praises.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #84

#87
Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic is a poet. Like me, I think that he is also a man of a few words :)

Claire L Cardwell

Claire L Cardwell

3 years ago #83

Very thought provoking buzz Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic - I am with you on praise for praise's sake not being particularly healthy, but it means a lot to me when someone stops by and makes a comment on one of my posts.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #82

#31
Phil Friedman, your comment triggered me to mention one thing that bothers me. I stated in my post that too many people are not comfortable to give criticism or in different words the constructive feedback. So, it's time to move from words to deeds, although I feel a bit uncomfortable. It's about giving the same comments in a repeated form as some people always do. You think that such a comment is the sign of disrespect. I'd rather say that it's the praise given in a specific way, but despite good intentions, it sounds hollow. #8 Debasish, as a reply to your comment I can only say thank you for sharing. I've read the conversation that you had with Ali in this thread (but not with me) about praising and sharing. In fact, I was surprised to see such elaborated comments because you usually offer a few praising words besides sharing. You said, "I only enjoyed this buzz out of its unique style of rendition according to my opinion which has made an impact on me, triggered me to appreciate it and I reckon it should be praised." Why these words, or something similar related to a post topic, couldn't have been a comment on my post instead of your usual comment/compliment, which doesn't offer much possibility for further engagement. Debasish, we are all grateful for your support and encouragement, but a more personal approach in commenting would be highly appreciated. I hope you will take my feedback just as it is, well-intentioned and honest above all else.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #81

#31
Phil Friedman, your comment triggered me to mention one thing that bothers me. I stated in my post that too many people are not comfortable to give criticism or in different words the constructive feedback. So, it's time to move from words to deeds, although I feel a bit uncomfortable. It's about giving the same comments in a repeated form as some people always do. You think that such a comment is the sign of disrespect. I'd rather say that it's the praise given in a specific way, but despite good intentions, it sounds hollow. #8 Debasish, I don't know how to reply to your comments. I can only say thank you for sharing, which I usually do. I read the conversation that you had in this thread with Ali (but not with me) about praising and sharing. In fact, I was surprised to see such elaborated comments because you usually offer a few praising words along with sharing. You said, "I only enjoyed this buzz out of its unique style of rendition according to my opinion which has made an impact on me, triggered me to appreciate it and I reckon it should be praised." Why these words or something similar linked to a post topic couldn't have been a comment on my post instead of your usually uninformed comment/compliment, which doesn't offer any further possibility for engagement. Debasish, we are all grateful for your support and encouragement, but a more personal approach would be highly appreciated. I hope you will take my feedback just as it is, well-intentioned and honest above all else.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #80

#74
Praveen, my apologies to you for deleting my reply to your comment. It happens too many times while scrolling on my mobile. I hope that Federico \ud83d\udc1d \u00c1lvarez San Mart\u00edn and the team will soon add the security question that would prevent unintentionally removing of a comment.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #79

#73
Thanks Phil Friedman :)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #78

#80
Yes, we did. :) I am just about closing my laptop and going to bed with a book. Good night!

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #77

#79
Yay!! Sweet dreams, lovely Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic! For everyone who watched, waited and waded...we got it :)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #76

#77
LOL :)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #75

#54
Preston \ud83d\udc1d Vander Ven, your comment made me think about a few writers on beBee whose posts have almost zero engagement. There is no praise from followers and readers, but they still continue to write. It is a different kind of motivation that isn't fuelled by praise. I wonder how many of us would continue writing without receiving just a little bit of praise that encourage and motivate.

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #74

#75
The best thing about misunderstanding is....uh...er....standing after, lovely Lada!

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #73

#74
Praveen, I just opened my laptop and saw your comment about the internal battle between the eternal optimist and horrible critic. :-) This is how I felt while writing the post. Both were sitting on my shoulders, but this time the critic won. :-))

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #72

#60
Not to worry, Milos Djukic, my long-time friend. I think a perennial bond of mutual respect if not consistent understanding was formed years ago back on LI in Writers 4 Writers. And I think you and I have lately been aligned in observing and commenting on the approaching fiasco known as LI’s latest “revamp” of Groups. Moreover, I have been personally quieter and more preoccupied with consulting work and for-pay writing than I’ve been for a while. However, if you truly miss this cantankerous curmudgeon, watch for installments of my new series of update posts on LinkedIn — “Busting Marine Industry Myths with Phil Friedman”. As to broken fractals, not a chance. I read somwhere they are forever. Cheers!

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #71

#70
haha...love the Goldilocks analogy, but I'm laughing at the jigsaw pieces Harvey Lloyd! You're absolutely right that we will often be absolutely wrong. In this case it's more of a trip-up rather than a catastrophe. I trust in Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic because she is a sensitive and gentle soul, whereas I am....more of a dragon :) We live in hope!

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

3 years ago #70

#69
Although for many people in the SM realm, even their understanding of things can be chaotic! As long as the focus is on accumulating information instead of assimilating it and structuring it into functional entities that can provide a fruitful feedback loop in the whole process, chaos is bound to be a constant reminder that understanding nowadays is often superficial and therefore inadequate, making one wonder whether it is indeed understanding or misunderstanding. Anyway, I'd better stop before my train of thought veers more towards the chaotic :-)

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #69

#64
Intentions. Well meaning or focused on a specific paradigm created by the writer or the commentor can be challenging. Intentions are difficult within a face to face where all of the senses are being feed. Social media in its youth is working through a single sense of word interepatation. Needless to say with only a single sense online while reading i must add the other four senses based on my own understanding. If you hand me a single piece of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle i can fill in the rest quite easily. Doesn’t give the picture merit, but it is filled in. This is the danger zone of reading others intentions. This is why seek first to understand then be understood is so important in social media. If i lead with my interpretation of the 999 other pieces i stand a high probability of being wrong. Not that my getting it right every time is a reality, even with more pieces. But by seeking the other pieces i can grab more of the purpose of a writers thoughts. Familiarity breeds contempt, not in the writer/commentor but in the observer. Since social media is about branding and expanding your network, familiarity would seem to be counter productive to the writer. Praise fits in this catogory of familiarity. To much and it hurts the writer as the observer will tie the commentor and writer into a closed group. Kinda like Goldilocks. The porridge needs to be just right. This is one of the conundrums of beBee. Personally we can discuss broadly about things but proffesionally it can be seen as to much familiarity. Crossing Facebook with LI will be the challenge.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

'For mature people the chaos of understanding". This is incorrect (My comment #64 as I meant chaos of misunderstanding)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#59
You are spot on dear Milos Djukic. You read both beautiful ladies correctly. I salute you. I share same thoughts and feelings as expressed in my comment #64

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#54
and #48- dears Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic- I appreciate your mention and being positive and open-minded. I concur with your comments and sensibility.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#64
I am so happy to read this comment. It is a mature sign of self-reviewing and seeing a misunderstanding by a new lens. Thank you dear Lisa Vanderburg are like two flint stones- friction they have, but to ignite us with ideas on how to be understanding, courageous, openness to meaningful criticism and effective communication. For mature people the chaos of understanding produces a high orderly level of understanding. I salute you and Lada for being mature, sensible and patience. My hat off for both of you.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#63
This comment speaks to my heart and I have ideas that shall I shall discuss in my next buzz. Harvey Lloyd you wrote "A writer is writing for their benefit and the reader has the choice to engage or not. I am a fan of expansion comments". I shall provide a visual proof of the correctness of your quote in my buzz and I think you touched upon a hugely-relevant point. The question is how and that is part of what I am discussing in my next buzz.

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #63

#52
Dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, I do not take your words personally and I am sorry you see that in my comment of #51, for my intent was to point out that, like on any social media site, we will have factions that are usually caused by miscommunication or someone feeling hurt, feeling left out maybe. What I picked up from your buzz was the honest and fully reasonable alert to the sickly over-praising that does also happen at times. But beautiful concepts and ideas can also come from a start of acknowledgement in the form of praise or a nod to alert the buzzee of one's 'like' follow by one's comment. So the problem is then how to not drown in the honey while trying to engage. This is a brave buzz. It was bound to draw some attention you didn't want. I apologise if you feel that it came from me but my intent was to allow you to expand if you felt the need. #59 As Milos Djukic!

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #62

#56
Good to hear from you Milos Djukic. It appears that we have all become attorneys and need to cross examine content from many angles. I dont ask much of social media but do enjoy the diversity of conversation between different disciplines and thought. I am not a fan of critiques in the way they appear in most threads. A writer is writing for their benifit and the reader has the choice to engage or not. I am a fan of expansion comments. Comments where someone comes in an adds beyound my own thoughts new information or perspectives. There are ways of communicating expansive thought and it is a skill. On one end of the spectrum is the King complex where they must come in and straighten out the minions. The other where the expansion idea is muddled with so much grace it cant be understood. Finding the balance in introducing an expansion idea is not always easy. I find it interesting to read comments sometimes more than the post. There are usually two types of comments. One expanding where the post was going or; critiquing how its getting there. I find the latter to be somewhat challenging in nature of word choice and position taken. I realize the small world that i live in the grand scheme of the cosmos. It would be a little self righteous for me to presume beyound the writers intended destination.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #61

#58
#59 Milos, I can only repeat your words that the careful interpretation of other people's words and attitudes is essentially in communication. Misunderstandings are inevitable in text-based communication such as on social media platforms. The old proverb says, where there's a will there's a way. :-) It is essential that there is the will to resolve all misunderstandings.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #60

#55
Thank you, Milos. Handling critical discussion is indeed like the circus art of balancing on a rope without a safety net. :-) Both skills require lots of training. and the use of science.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #59

#31
Phil Friedman (Mr No-Muzak ever), my friend, we have not a sound critical debate or a disagreement for a long time. Perhaps the fractals are broken for a while, or what? I am little bit worried. You have no respect for me, perhaps? :) My respect towards you is as hard as the rock.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #58

A slight misunderstanding between Lada and Lisa is a typical example of what I am talking about. Just to mention that both Lada and Lisa are great, my dear friends, and socially highly responsible persons.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #57

There are many lonely, vulnerable, but precious people in social media. For example, I'm an imperfect person with a bunch of weaknesses. What is really impressive never shines only flashes occasionally.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #56

A slight misunderstanding between Lada and Lisa is a typical example of what I am talking about. Just to mention that both Land and Lisa are great, my dear friends, and socially highly responsible persons.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #55

I had written two articles at LinkedIn which are strictly related to this very important topic. "What Makes Us Unique on Social Media" (2014) "Leadership and Successful Human Conversations" (2015) In the meantime, the number of constructive discussions in all social media and networks decreased even more . "My experience suggests that the effects of tactful critiques are often highly undervalued. I think that criticism is useful for everyone, but social media criticism modeling, that will have fruitful effects (stretch and grow), is a special kind of art. There are some wonderful people here who are not prepared to "survive" battles without serious consequences. We must be careful. What is important is the way in which we manifest our disagreement. People tend to feel threatened when they are attacked. A heated discussion can be very fruitful, but also unproductive. A good foundation is certainly unquestionable respect of diversity and a very careful interpretation of other people's attitudes. Communication is always a two way process." (2015)

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #54

Have you ever ask yourself why Milos has limited his writing activities in social media. For me, critical discussions is the ultimate way to improve yourself and also others. Unfortunately, most people does not know how to handle with critical discussions in social networks. It is a special kind of art, like a circus, generally speaking and particularly in social media and networks. When someone is great and socially responsible then it can and should handle constructive criticisms and also to accept them. Very important post Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, thanks.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

#50
Yes, Phil Friedman is an expert at stirring the pot in a respectable manner and I appreciate him for that. You know, something I consider and look for when reading an article is not just the content but how well it is written. I appreciate an article where the spelling and grammar are 5-star. I also appreciate an article where it is obvious there are time and research put into its creation. It's not just content that warrants a thumbs up, it's the article in its entirety.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #52

#51
Thank you for explaining and for the constructive feedback. I am sorry to hear that you take the words in my post personally. As for our relationship, civility and open honesty are a good foundation for any relationship.

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #51

#43
My last two paragraphs were an invitation to you to feel free to be more specific or expansive, as you buzz suggest you should. I think you are absolutely right that we will behave as any other social media (God willing...with some decorum not utilized in most). We do trip up over praise at times, but this is surely better than rude behavior or indifference? We will develope bad habits, good intentions may 'go south', we may even have cliques. Some of us like discussion and some of us just want to make a statement; it is often difficult to tell unless you invest the time and effort in actually reading the whole buzz and comments, which is asking a lot if you enter late! Curiosly, there's simply no relevent hives to take these long conversations to - hive-titles missing include: love, passion, debate, thinkers, humanity, ethics, dilemma,...any that could be to keep them away from those that find them irritating are ill-attended. Did you know that by far the largest hive is 'beBee in Portuguese' at 234.4k compared to 'beBee in English': 13.9k. As I've said to you before, my English is not much better than yours, yet I'm a native-speaker :) As to our relationship, I wasn't aware that it extended past civility and a degree of open honesty; I don't feel I have to respond to you and I think that goes both ways, but when we do, we're polite?

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #50

#44
Agreed, Franci. Wise as usual. :-) A realist rant from your proverb reminds me of our Phil Friedman. :-))

Mark Blevins

Mark Blevins

3 years ago #49

I don't know if I'm good at blogging it's just something I do as a hobby. Everybody might hate a critic, but if people have something to say about what I write I won't mind if they don't like it. It's hard to hurt my feelings. Most of them got used up on my ex's who have my kids. I only have two or three left

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #48

#42
Harvey thanks for commenting and encouraging discussion. I feel exhausted trying to respond to all commenters along with other household chores. :-) It's the side effect of posting on beBee contrary to LinkedIn. In my post, I was mostly referring to excessive praising and flattering, present in many comments, that reached the saturation point. Maybe you're not aware of it, but many comment threads are just streams of mutual accolades without meaningful conversation. Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee said it very well in his comment No #23, "Praise for what is worthy of praising is acknowledgement and encouragement; the opposite is true for a buzz that doesn't speak to my mind."

Bill Stankiewicz, 🐝 Brand Ambassador

Too much honey will make you sick, I agree. I do like to promote PMA but if I see something wrong, I do speak up and say something. I hope they reused that honey in some way, food safety is important & its not good to be wasteful. regards, Bill Stankiewicz, Women Advocate for More Women at the CEO Level in companies.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #46

#35
exactly madam Lisa Vanderburg to praise one requires a strength as well desire to extend fervor and inspiration on which many may be benefited. whether the content may be worth or nor in anybody's evaluation, if it may reduce ones affliction and plight, it is worth to be appreciated and obviously in beBee unlike other social networking site where affinity is the major concern, i hats off to those who have the inclination to praise others work. thank you for your valuable comment madam.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #45

#34
#39 Are there any posting to becoming a professional fjaka? I had to look this one up. I thought ya'll were talking in secret code or something. Yea i believe i had best stay away from Split. I probably would never return:)

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

I like your point of view, Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic. Sugar-coated praise helps no one, not even oneself. IMO, there must be a balance between mushy insincere comments and disrespectful comments. I feel what's important is adding value to a discussion, whether or not there are varied opinions. "I'd rather listen to a realist rant than a naive, sugar-coated praise." - anonymous

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #43

#35
Dear Lisa, I think there has been a misunderstanding in our communication. Maybe it's about my English. I was just saying in my previous post that a lot of people including me are on beBee just for its sense of family, as you stated in a comment on my short buzz. That's why I don't understand the last two paragraph of your comment. Please, can you explain? I don't want misunderstanding to ruin our relationship.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #42

In reading some of the comments the question i have is what should one say to someone when you enjoyed the post? Myself i hit relevant to let the author know i read the content and found it interesting. I may comment with a short sentence to say it went beyond just interesting. Lastly if i know the person well enough then i may offer some diversity or understanding, more as a discussion extension than reductionist argument.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #41

#20
Phil, I surprised myself also because I am a sensitive and gentle soul who very rarely criticise. My intention is to point out some things I noticed here that diminished my pleasure of reading and being on beBee. Hoping no one is feeling hurt.

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #40

#32
#38 I was once told by someone who had published a piece on LinkedIn that he/she did not do so in order to discuss what was said but rather to raise their own profile, gain attention, and promote his/her business. So, the person said, he/she didn't care in the least what anyone had to say about the article or anything else, for that matter. I think what he/she was saying was that comments, especially critical, are like graffiti written across an advertising billboard -- nothing but a nuisance. Then there are disruption-based marketers who don't care what you say, as long as you say it and bring attention to their content on social media. Oh wait, could I be confusing them with asshat politicians?

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #39

#34
Thank you very much, Ian Weinberg. High praise indeed.:-) As a matter of fact, this post is a result of being in the state of "fjaka" for the last few days. :-)

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #38

#31
Good advise!

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #37

#32
It it's of any help, I think dialogue is the name of the game with some buzz-offerings. Some of us want this...grow by this, some of us don't. There are times when it's better to acknowledge than ignore, for the sake of humility and the person who offered up the buzz. I know a few here that want to explore their ideas; more importantly, others. It's a 'geiger-counter' if you will and tends to add to enlightening one's experiance. beBee has many faults; including a huge gap in more 'cerebral' or 'humanitarian' hives, but it's certainly not as cold a place as LI.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #36

#19
Good to see you here, John. I understand your point of view. I came to the same conclusion about the comments and the purpose of commenting. I agree with you that we need more people who have a contrarian point of view to push things forward, but not people who disagree just for the sake of disagreement. The first step to a meaningful discussion is to express own personal opinion about the topic even if that opinion results in the criticism, but without belittling the other person. It's immensely hard to change our mindset if we are not open to constructive feedback.

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #35

#22
You're right: '#3 A fascinating share @Lada 🏡 Prkic; many thanks! I am on the fringe - I tend to use LI for my medical battles, but BB for its sense of 'family'...a place to share and discuss. I don't do that with LI. This is probably of no help whatsoever, as I'm not 'in business.' But I would be interested in more COMMENTS!' - that happened; more comments. You said in response: '#5 Lisa, I think you should use LI for your medical battles, as you said, just for the reason of the number of people on that platform. Also, the possibility to exchange information with people in the same situation or in the medical branches is much higher than here on beBee.' No flattery here; if you don't like me I am not bothered....you won't be the first or last. If you think I am 'underqualified' to offer a comment, just say so! I like plain-speak and I have had more critisism here (and a death-threat) than anywhere else, but I don't think you are refering to me solely, so I invite you to speak plainly.

Ian Weinberg

Ian Weinberg

3 years ago #34

A good piece of art is something that inspires/causes us to reflect, associate and react. In this sense Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic your post is indeed an art form. At this point I think I'll have my kava and ascend into fjaka!

Randall Burns

Randall Burns

3 years ago #33

#32
Oh I immediately grasped the metaphor Lada and the application here is perfect; and while it is a great photo I can't help but feel how uncomfortable that really is; just like receiving an overabundance of praise...Stifling to be sure

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #32

#9
Thank you, Randal. :-) When I saw this photo, I was thrilled. A woman covered in honey as a metaphor for being soaked in sweet words and praise. The whole series of photos is so visually striking. The comments of Neil Smith and Ali showed what happened when we receive or give criticism albeit in the form of advice. Many people react immediately in a defensive way because of a wounded ego. It doesn't help even if it is given in good terms. Some people don't have any intention to listen, and they only feel judged. In such a case, to walk away is the best alternative. But some listen. We can have engaged, intelligent and positive discussions, even if we express a different opinion or constructive critique. It would be only a little less diplomatic. :-))

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #31

#4
#28 - This topic is one I've written about thought and written about several times. FWIW, I suggest to you that many people have it backward, that in fact, to dash off a vacuous positive comment or compliment (or as some people do, a constantly repeated form comment-compliment that is copied and pasted) is a sign of disrespect. While it is a sign of care and respect when someone takes the time and makes the effort to actually read and "understand" something you've written -- even when that results in a criticism or expression of disagreement. Personally, I try, not always successfully, to simply ignore those for whom I have no respect. Therefore, if anyone out there, with whom I've argued at one time or another, has noticed that I no longer harangue or disagree with you... you are now, with this additional information, in a position to draw the correct conclusion about why I don't. Cheers! :-)

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #30

#4
#28 - This topic is one I've written about thought and written about several times. FWIW, I suggest to you that many people have it backward, that in fact, to dash off a vacuous positive comment or compliment (or as some people do, a constantly repeated form comment-compliment that is copied and pasted) is actually a sign of disrespect. And it is actually a sign of care and respect when someone takes the time and makes the effort to actually read and "understand" something you've written -- even when that results in a criticism or expression of disagreement. Personally, I try, not always successfully, to simply ignore those for whom I have no respect. So if anyone out there, with whom I've argued at one time or another, has noticed that I no longer harangue or disagree with you... you are now, with this additional information, in a position to draw the correct conclusion about why. Cheers! :-)

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #29

#6
Great comment, Neil. That's what I meant to say about the criticism given in good faith. What Jim said to you wasn't even the criticism but more advice from a person who knows immensely about writing. Despite that, your first reaction was, "Who does this guy think he is?" I'm glad that you listened and accepted advice. Your little story just showed how our ego immediately reacts when someone criticises us.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #28

Thanks, Pascal. I reread my post. It looks pretty critical to me now, but I think it's because of my English. :-) I agree that not everyone is capable of giving relevant feedback about a complex topic, especially when they presented that way. I'm not an exception either. Why then praise what we don't understand? Like you said, it's about a duty of care.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

3 years ago #27

Lada, I'm late to this party but in full agreement with you. My approach is one of empathy with the writer but often to challenge the thinking and/or add a slightly different viewpoint. I believe we owe those that share here the benefit of a friendly engagement even if we disagree and to be honest in expressing our views.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#25
Yes, and on this you know I am in agreement with you dear Debasish Majumder.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #25

#24
exactly that is what i intend to mean sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, despite with much apathy sometimes we share just to encourage the author for his or her hard work, a gratification for may be his candid post which i reckon deserve to be honored. besides, out of social nowadays we can develop a healthy relationships which are extremely precious and this plethora of openings being possible for the social media. i do believe appreciation having a positive magnitude for the well beings of the larger section of people.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#21
I forgot to mention that many author bees who write very well never shared my buzzes; on the opposite I have always shared their buzzes except if I have some reservation. Sharing a buzz is a form of praising and I do it because I believe the buzz is worthy and offers some value. I don't expect anything or favor in return.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#21
I shall be very honest with you dear Debasish Majumder. You know that I exchanged comments with you more than I did with any other author bee. I have quite often commented on your buzzes. Not always and you may recall that once I messaged you to let you know I refrained from commenting on one of your buzzes. I refused to publish a praise on a buzz that for a personal or other reasons didn't appeal to me. If I do I lose my self-worthiness. Encouraging an established author like yourself is a flattery. For a new author this might be tolerable to give encouragement, but for you this shall be misleading. Praise for what is worthy of praising is acknowledgement and encouragement; the opposite is true for a buzz that doesn't speak to my mind. I hope I am clear.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #22

#3
Dear Lisa, I recall your comment on my short buzz about user engagement when you said that you use BeBee for its sense of family. Many of us do that. That's why I mentioned the children. I am more than generous in giving them praise because I was also praised by my parents, and still am. :-) But I don't believe in empty praise.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #21

#16
do you think a creative bent of mind at all focused for praise? i am afraid whether Van Gog, Mozart or other rare prodigies at all cared about praise. they, i guess were utterly absorbed in their creative style, hardly bothered who were praising or nor. most importantly one may induce from an inner urge to create something where praise at play any role as a precondition. besides, this mediocrity or beyond average level what ever we may deduce, precisely out of our own reflections. we make one a cult as well a despicable one out of strength and conglomeration, where an individual can be easily singled and victimized. most importantly in social media, there is no dearth of faculties who are only prone to make disgusting remarks, which are neither condemn or criticize, having only a vile intention to malign. besides, praise is like an elixir for an author to be more inspired and energized to create more superior work. i wonder, what are the parameters to determine the superior quality of a work, deserved to be praised or nullified? i only enjoyed this buzz our of its unique style of rendition according to my opinion which has made an impact on me, triggered me to appreciate it and i reckon it should be praised. now, is it at all flattery sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee to consider this buzz as worthy? besides, battery of flattery too can trigger one to create a unique buzz i guess which may too deserve praise. how we will then celebrate the consequence of flattery?

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #20

Interesting post, Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, and interesting that you should have arrived at the point where you, in particular, have been moved to write it. For you are a gentle soul. Me? Not so much. So I think it significant and telling that you've reached the point of honey-saturation. I agree that conversation is not just politely waiting for your turn to speak. Cheers!

John Prpich

John Prpich

3 years ago #19

Thanks for the post Lada, this is one of the reasons why I continue to lose interest in other social media sites. People constantly patting each other on the back for repeating the same ideas over and over again to the point where the comments are meaningless. The same thing is happening here and it's one of the reasons I've become disengaged. We need more people who have a contrarian point of view to push back on the way we think about the world and business today. Instead of alll the atta boys, how about creating some meaningful discussion and changing our mindset.

John Rylance

John Rylance

3 years ago #18

Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer, and without sneering, teach the rest to sneer. Alexander Pope's Epistle to Doctor Arbuthnot (1733) How much are we swayed by the praise others give to another's actions?

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

3 years ago #17

Starightforward and right to the point. I agree with your point of view, Lada 🏡 Prkic. Sharing! :-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#15
I shall mention you and this buzz in my next buzz and so shall tag you dear Lada. Yes, undeserved praise is a flattery

Lada 🏡 Prkic

Lada 🏡 Prkic

3 years ago #15

#1
#2 Ali, am glad you like the post. The quote was actually an inspiration for this buzz. As I said, I like to be praised when the praise is justified. :-) I have difficulties with receiving notifications, and would gladly read your last buzz. Also, I am curious about your next buzz.

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

3 years ago #14

That's a very good point (I'm sorry if this sounds too much of a praise; I can assure you it's unintentional!). Perhaps this whole excessive praise matter is due to the fact that for many people beBee is like a reaction to the other social media out there that encourage a competitive and critical behavior. Maybe beBee is still figuring itself out, so give it some time. Personally I'd rather post something on a platform that errs more on the excessive praise side than on another platform where rudeness and overly critical behavior are the norm.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
I hope you would find the time to read my next buzz on The Taste of Comments. I have a different approach to this issue, but I may say safely I am in full agreement with your comment Neil Smith. Talk again soon.

Neil Smith

Neil Smith

3 years ago #12

#7
Sorry Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. I posted that comment half finished thanks to a clumsy thumb stroke on my phone and sooner than put it up in two parts just deleted and started again. You are absolutely right that there is a world of difference between well intended constructive criticism and mere abuse that achieves nothing more than a brief fillip for the abuser. On the bigger point of an excess of praise here I would only say that there are few places on social media where this is a problem. Usually the reverse is true. As Bebee grows I do come across more cheap and nasty articles but I almost always refrain from comment and 3move on.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #11

#6
Great thoughts. Learning in social media is a very public affair. I enjoyed your thoughts in addressing the feedback in a positive way, eventually. My early endevours with social media really left a hard taste in my mouth but came to the realization you did. The feedback was constructive. For me, it was the publicness of that feedback that i had to learn to deal with. I am very unaccustomed to open very public feedback.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #10

Difficult topic to introduce. There is but so much relationship that can be built within a social media stream. I would imagine that upon reading mediocre or less content presents a conundrum. Do we public announce the mediocrity, praise or ignore? Neil Smith offers us the correct way to address “public education” by a fellow Bee. The angst of the publicness with the understanding of the help offered by one more seasoned. Some challenging thought this morning.

Randall Burns

Randall Burns

3 years ago #9

That is a great photo! Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic Very insightful Buzz, (at the risk of sounding complimentary. :-)), with some valid points. Yes beBee is a very positive and supportive environment which tends to stimulate and encourage both creation and interaction. Ultimately it is up to each one of us as to how we interpret and respond in these interactions and while I agree with the sentiment of "Most of us would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism" I think here on beBee no one wants to be "that guy"; they'd rather just keep quiet. I'm not saying that that is the correct course of action but that's the way it is here. There are some very engaged, intelligent, positive, and DIPLOMATIC discussions here, (as well as the Buzzes themselves), and I do find it a lot more personable, genuine and sincere than other sites, (like LinkedIn).. Agreed there is some "not great" writing produced but I appreciate the fact that someone is making an effort, and while it won't be mentioned here it will get enough flak/criticisms/corrections elsewhere to send a message. Along with that of course is the trolling/bullying, just plain stupidity, and as Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee states in the previous comment "personal attacks", we seem to be sheltered from all of that here in our little oasis called beBee... Or maybe I'm just being naive...

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #8

this buzz is truly praiseworthy Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic! you have made a cogent analysis. enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I don't know why Neil Smith deleted his comment and this comment was meant to be my comment on his comment. I have had my share with comments that were out of place. I don't wish to repeat them. One incident on LI I may share. The author wrote a buzz with a title "Bossy...". I commented in good terms, but I also expressed my dissatisfaction with the word bossy for many reasons. The response was a personal attack of the highest order. I object to personal attacks as I have experienced even on beBee. I then learnt my lesson. Just discard those assaulting comments. They aren't even worthy to respond to or to give them any importance. Criticize my ideas, my methodology, my conclusions, but this has nothing to do with the unprofessional personal assaults. .

Neil Smith

Neil Smith

3 years ago #6

Some years ago a guy called Jim Murray responded to an article I posted on LinkedIn. He pointed out the utility of paragraphs and sub-headings and suggested a couple of other things that would make my stuff more readable. Well obviously I took the hump. "Who does this guy think he is?" and other uncharitable thoughts crossed my mind. The thing is though that he was right. I rewrote my piece and it was better. Praise wouldn't have helped half as much. Still, constructive, helpful criticism eh. Who does he think he is? :)

Neil Smith

Neil Smith

3 years ago #5

Some years ago a guy called Jim Murray responded to an article I put up on LinkedIn. In a no nonsense way he pointed that introducing such concepts as paragraphs and sub headings would have made it much easier on the eye and more readable. Obviously, in my rational

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

3 years ago #4

Good points all round a few things spring to mind first how one is providing feedback and when stimulating the discussion is a plus especially when its a complex topic, second not every body can't handle it and I think duty of care sometimes takes over (takes cover) at commenting level. Third I agree not all posts are equal in terms of quality or depth encouragement is one thing des-illusion another..... :-)

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #3

Ah....the sticky sweet stuff of sap in the guise of honey! This resin can certainly drown someone, as your buzz shows Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic. 'Maybe because of its family-like atmosphere, as some users stated.' I had said I liked the 'conversational' side of beBee, which I do...but I wouldn't invite children on. I know what you mean, however I think the true gems lie within the sap. It's good to have a check & balance now and then; many thanks!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Just to let you know Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic that I am responding to your buzz in my next buzz. Thank you for the motivation.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I immensely enjoyed reading your buzz dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic. You bring an issue that is under hot discussions on my most recent buzz on The Paradox of Love. I tried to explain the risks entailed with extreme love. This might not sound relevant to your buzz; to the opposite it is. You wrote "However, parents should know praising overwhelmingly children can turn them into egocentric persons when they grow up. It is the same with adults". Yes, this tendency to exaggerate can fire back and produce adverse effect, regardless we exaggerate praise or love, or whatever. You mentioned a quote that is great and consistent with this thinking. It is "The praise is like honey, a little may refresh, but too much gluts the stomach". The is a safety zone and beyond which praise produces an adverse effect. I am not praising you to the extent to harm you. I say you wrote a buzz surely worth of sharing.

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